You just kept yelling "SATAN!" at me every time I walked by
he was like "finding out that arrested development was cancelled" bad
Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
how do i say, "my ex is going to be at this party so don't look like shit" without sounding like a bitch?
And she was like "I wanted you all for myself, to love you, and treat you like gold."... See this is why I shouldn't fuck Italian chicks...
The usual, bring face make up, I have a weird gash on my nose, probably from my one night stand
Trust me I was high for like 5 years...I got this
I have a kicked-out-of-multiple-bars level hangover today
I'm like a number 27.2 on a scale of 1-10 of how badly I want you right now.
Your lack of a response brings it down to a 25.4.
Trust me. Drunk Scrabble is not a good idea. Arguments over the legitimacy of the word "Pickle" break out, things are said, friendships are ruined. It's ugly.
Two run-ins with cops/park rangers tonight and now I'm just wandering around high and shirtless
Sacramento doesn't deserve you
If my vagina were a person, it just ran a marathon.
I got poked in the eye with a penis last night. How's your day?
Turns out my mom didn't really want to know I was in a new dimension last night from smoking so much.
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
Randomize
