i just drank a strangers drink off a toilet
tell me how a rose bowl party involves waking up to find a raccoon in my kitchen cabinet eating my oreos the next morning?
I forgot it was 4/20. that COMPLETELY explains the 7/11. i was like "that's a lot of white dudes... and they're really into snacking."
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
I still don't understand how I went from crying to blowing you in like two minutes.
You mean the girl who was passed out face down on the bathroom floor until 10 AM? You're right, she was cute.
Clearly it doesn't get better with age. Just more sexual
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
i told him I'd let him eat part of a weed cookie out of my cleavage, so he pulled over like a gentleman.
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
I know it's just really hard to give up sex and cigs during a blizzard
HAVE BEEN SPEAKING IN RUSSIAN ACCENT FOR 5 HOURS
SHIRT GONE
Sorry I've been a slutty nightmare this week
Well, I hope you're having fun. I'm just gonna lay here and wait for death - shouldn't be long now.
you scattered cereal all over the floor so you could "re-trace your steps and figure out what happened." 20 min later you yelled about the mess and let the dog in to clean it up. 5 min after that you screamed since the cereal was gone. you suspected me and locked me in the bathroom so i could "think about what i'd done"
and you bit everyone who tried to let me out. no more tequila for you. EVER.
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