Well i'm not entirely sure considering he gave my vagina an early valentine's day card that said "you're purrfect."
Sorry no. I've already promised my first single hookup to somebody.
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
nothing like smoking out of your roommate's bong with your mom to celebrate the rising of christ
he is risen halelujah
We need to step up our tailgating...they're here drinking out of a prosthetic leg
Judging by my bruises, I know I took more than one tumble. I probably pulled u down w me, and then punched you in the knee. Been trying to find a place to fix my phone between naps today. Almost no place accepts hand js as currency these days. 2013 is gonna be expensive and whorey.
Yeah I was thinking something along the lines of "I almost died, lets celebrate with sex. Come over"
I vaguely remember a drunken mid sex pinky promise to not let it get weird.
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
He called me kiddo. We can't have sex
it was an ACCIDENT
it was a DICK
As you were leaving you yelled at the owners that the stairs weren't suitable for "intoxacapated" people and promptly fell down them.
So I WAS right.
As she came, she moaned Roll Tide. I kid you not.
I've scurried myself in your trunk come find me in the morning
Randomize
