I just made friends with the guy at the coffee shop in borders. And by that I mean he stared at me until I was uncomfortable and left.
found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
i believe i can now do shots of gasoline with no chaser. its been that kind of summer.
Just hooked up with a girl I met in line at Taco Bell. I told you leave me to do my own thing and I'll get it in
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
Just come here and visit. Enjoy the deliciousness of me being legal. Just don't think, and come here right meow. meow meow meow.
Just in case you were wondering..... I really did just wave goodbye to you with my penis.
It's like all my brain cells are screaming at me.
I'm dying.
I'm not sure if I should be proud of you for having morals or disappointed in you for letting your sex life get this sad.
He's on the bus now and took off his Amish hat so just his long ginger beard is present. Goodbye, majestic Amish ginger. Go forth and represent your minority well.
How does one un superglue their foot to the floor
You came home screaming the lyrics to Drunk in love, and dumped wine on me when I said you would never be Beyoncé
He said he wanted to lick the breadcrumbs off my chest
He told me that he had never gotten a blow job. I sat there for a second, then thought "I MUST FIX THIS!" It was fucking fantastic.
i need you to come over and tell me if you can notice that i'm only wearing a teddy underneath my trenchcoat
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