woke up in a freezing tub of water at 6 am again. probably should stop the drunk baths
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
You spend 45 minutes trying to convince that pregnant girl you were with all night to have sex with you cause 'the worst had already happened.'
I am at 2.05 miles in under 11 minutes. So either this thing is broke or I should always work out wasted.
I slept in bed with them the night they met. I once peed on the bride. And now I get to give a speech at their wedding. Piece of cake.
I am burnt. Have a black eye. Face dove into the grass and got pissed on. Time of my life. God Bless the USA.
Watched him slip somethin into her drink. Dragged him of his bar stool, punched him out, and told her what i saw. Bartender used some chemical to confirm presence of rophynol. Just woke up at her place
I love you more than champagne and correct grammar
you reached into a lemon drop to pull out a lemon of someone else's drink..
Didn't get carded at the bar. We're getting wasted and then walking over to Bass Pro Shops to watch the indoor ducks swim around. And possibly buying a tent.
Any chance I can buy my dignity back with $45?
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
OMG MY DAD TOLD ME HE MIGHT DO TINDER
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
Of course I fucked her, her man stole my bike when we were kids
Randomize
