Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
and that's how I found out my dad doesn't believe in towels... holiday magic.
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
He told me that a camel appeared out of nowhere and it told him to quit smoking...
There is a full size piano in the middle of our road. Please tell me you had nothing to do with this.
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
Look, as a friend I'm asking to see a picture of his tiny dick
somehow this turned into a costume party you have to get here now with my banana suit or I'm wearing my birthday suit
The most humiliating part was that I farted while he was tasing me.
TIL a potato cannon can be loaded with dildos as ammunition. Boy, do our neighbours love us!
I wound up gambling on giant connect four with the bartender. I think he saw my boobs.
it's gotten to the point where I just look in my closet, think, "which article of clothing behaves most like a towel?" and then just go with that
"This must be what Jayden Smith feels like all the time"
Hey I had a great night last night but I don't want to lie to you I'm only 19 and that wasn't my place its was my cousin he's gone for the summer and I was just house sitting and watching his cat I'm sorry
Randomize
