Flirting with the rich sleazy owner of the club: 1 way ticket to free sushi, drinks, and VIP passes. FUck! im better with older men than i am with babies and dogs
Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
I'm just saying, asking "Are you happy with me?" during a handjob is simply unfair and scientifically inadmissiable.
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
seriously. next time...underwear. I'm not spending any other holiday season wondering if it'll be my last babyless one.
It's not meant to be. I also just shot a turkey baster of gin into Nate's eye, so....
I still smell like men's body wash from that drunken shower I took at that stranger's home last night.
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
Your dad was just slow dancing with the priest and holding a beer. Classic
The beauty of his penis is distracting me from the fact that he was born after Princess Diana died
I was so high I forgot how to swallow food, and I just kept thinking "thank god its just mashed potatoes, they'll go down eventually"
I totally fucked your pastor last night.
You're his wife.
Still a dirty get down.
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