We walked past a group of guys in front of a bar last night and they claimed, I quote: Wow, we'd actually have to work for that.
she asked how her costume looked and all i could say was bars are dark right?
I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!!
the bride at the wedding we just crashed said we can stay only if we strip for her. You need to get down here
Someone just got pizza delivered to the liquor store.
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
We're going to work out tomorrow I guess but it usually consists of doing weights for 10 minutes, then saying fuck cardio and going to Taco Tuesday
Speaking of boners I learned how to say " jizz everywhere" in sign language
Seeing your boyfriend, side piece, and great white buffalo, all in one night? Its a sign right?
Proceed with caution.
Do not ever get that redhead chem major high. Gave her a magic brownie and she sat in a corner and literally cried about organic chem. Never again.
Leave it to me and my dad to puke on the same guy at the same bar 25 years apart
I need a life alert for his random dick pics. My heart can't handle that.
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
I just masterbated to the Lets Get Ready To Rumble theme
FUCK WHALES
Randomize
