If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
a mothers knocking is a guaranteed boner softener
theres a boy scout troop on my plane. right now theyre playing wilderness games. let me just tell you how excited i am to hit on all of them
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
shes in my pool wearing only floaties on her arms ill have to raincheck watching march madness with you guys sorry
Oh my god my life; so much cake and so little sex
I can't believe i facilitated a beer for sweater vest deal last night...
Dude. Remember the only two rules I set for that? Always have a sober friend and don't do drugs with a fat chick.
I had a girl last night tell me that she was happy to find a condom wrapper in my garbage because,and I quote, "well at least you're not raw dogging every slore that crosses your path"
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
My favorite part of you downing a fifth of fireball in my apartment by yourself is the shot glass in the sink. It's like you attempted moderation and were just like "Fuck this."
I gotta give him props though, I've never been propositioned for sex via flash mob.
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
She swallowed the car key because she thought we were really going to make her drive.
Remember that time we were together? Yeah, I don't miss that.
Randomize
