very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
Dude, totally just found out that I've been washing my hair with semen for the past 3 weeks.
I was holding her hair back and when she quit puking she told me she's been saving her scissor virginity for me.
Post-shopping-cart-scooter-jousting victory fuck?
"Do You Wanna Build a Snowman" came on while I was riding his dick. I had to take a moment.
WHAT IF I SAT OUTSIDE AND STARTED SCREAMING THE LYRICS TO O CANADA WOULD THAT FIX IT
PLEASE DON'T
I have alotted at least an hour for ugly crying.
I see myself subsisting on tequila for the next several days.
u woke up and asked who took ur pants off then realized u did n almost cried over not gettin layed
You said "I feel like a koala bear. Do you ever just feel like a koala bear?" This is your brain on drugs.
Two questions: is there going to be a bathroom at this party, and can we fuck in it. This will define whether or not I enjoy going to parties with you.
I had to pee so bad that I snuck into the bathroom while they were in the shower. At her request, he was massaging her boobs so they could grow faster. Also there was a laser light machine.
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
You where banging on the wall asking us where we hid the door...you then crawled under the deck thinking you'd be safe. I told you to eat the nachos before the party...I told you.....
Nope. I'm an adult now. I can successfully avoid to vomit in defiance of the porcelain god\n
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