Def slept AT the bar last night, wow that's a first!
do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
Hemmingway ran to paris to avoid going to the university of illinois and becoming a doctor. It was there he developed a drinking problem. I need a plane ticket.
It's gotten to the point where NOT peeing in the sink feels strange and uncomfortable.
I never once brought up his unibrow when he was insulting me. That's class.
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
Dude, he's legal now. You could not pry me from his dick with the jaws of life.
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
I'm home, and it turns out she didn't get it all. still picking Oreos out of my pubes.
I tried to have sex on someone's sisters horse last night
I just want to sing to him and rub baby oil on his head
Your vagina is not a steamboat from the 1800's
I've been getting a lot of emails from patron lately for being a great customer. Is that awesome, or should I start thinking about seeking help?
I was just seen throwin up on the bookstore building near a trashcan by parents. Naturally I throw a thumbs up and say go college
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