I just pynch a tree in the face
And you kept hanging up and calling back because you thought I wasn't greeting you properly.
I just found out my favorite drunk show, Repo Men, is just reenactments. I can't express through words my disappointment.
when i spit it made a heart shape. i think it's a sign
Almost propositioned sex in exchange for a study guide for my final tomorrow.
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
she's just been through a whole lot lately. When the crazy starts leaking out we give her vodka and lock her in the room with all the pillows.
so that's what that room is for...
Can't tell if its the LSD or if that demon man just stared at my penis. Cleveland is a weird place. All true stories.
You had a hat of bras. Probably a good dozen, which is totally impressive for a Thirsty Thursday
Just sucked some sandy dick on a boardwalk & now I'm at a family reunion hbu
we need to invent and abuse teleportation
Eye drops are like seatbelts of being high. Think about it
Is a coke binge Whole30 approved?
They left me at home... I'm a liability
Randomize
