Just heard a guy discussing with someone else the amazing blow job you gave him. I’m in New York. Over 2 hours away from where you live. I have never been more proud.
Best news ive heard all week. The cougars r coming! The cougars are coming!
You told my mother that her salad dressing tasted like semen.
I think I left a blow job at your house. Can I come down and get it?
I gave it to your brother to give to you.
Just opened a bottle with my rape whistle. At least it's finally getting used for something.
I swear there's a gravitational pull from your vagina to large groups of men in uniform.
Her inability to understand the word "moderation" is the achille's heel of an otherwise perfect human
They drank shots out of my cleavage. Surprisingly, the one who did the best was a gay guy.
I've said it before and I'll say it again: your tits are a danger to gay men everywhere.
Felt like shit, jerked off, felt ten times better. Being a guy rules. It's like I got all the demons out in 5 minutes.
BUT I think maybe Thursday in celebration of America we should probably tan and see how fast we can finish everything in the liquor cabinet.
I've replaced you with thin mints and masturbation
yeah, i'm probably gonna die. still gonna be totally worth it tho
it's like he didn't even know what a vagina was
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
So I was dancing on a table with these three girls and my bro. Started to makeout with one and as the song ended I asked what her name was. She said, and I quote, "Nate we hooked up two weeks ago". To which my reply was to lift my beer to bro and proclaim, "RAGE".
Randomize
