So while she was giving me a lap dance I told her I quit med school. Just so she didn't feel like the only one who's made bad decisions in their life.
It's amazing how much better one feels once you put something in your vagina.
Guys, right now i need a picture of a squirrel, preferably with one of you guys but not necessary.
This bowl of cereal would be the size of a giant's bowl-piece. It's. that. big.
How much did you smoke??
Oh shit I just realized the ropes are still tied to the bedposts
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
I have to remind myself to breathe. That hungover.
Halfway through the night I was hiding in a trashcan. Then I "sobered" up and ran around the house throwing change because I wanted to make my last moments of 2013 charitable.
They think I fractured my spine while doing your cousin on concrete.
A sultry night of tacos and sex sounds nice. Should I bring home milk?
My hairdresser won’t do keratin treatments because of the toxins, but will put ecstasy up her butt at festivals...
Im sitting on the floor of the hotel room eating nachos and drinking coffee. People should learn to embrace their hangovers
He was literally screaming at me for using the same knife to scoop the peanut butter and the jelly.
Randomize
