D3 body, D1 cock
i just passed a truck with a bumper sticker saying "i'd rather be cummin than strokin." god bless the midwest.
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
he gets drunk and then tries to eat the lasers at the dance club
I'm not making any promises. But if I start throwing food at you, just go with it.
Whatever. I'm just trying to get my dick sucked while taking online harmonica lessons
In lieu of flowers, please donate to The Hungover Children's Fund in my name.
I had a girl last night tell me that she was happy to find a condom wrapper in my garbage because,and I quote, "well at least you're not raw dogging every slore that crosses your path"
Saw a dude last night at a strip club's bar eating canned pineapple and giving tootsie pops to the girls...
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
where will you be at 9:30 tonight?
piledriving you in your roommate's bed?
I suppose writing him up is more professional than keying his car.
I just had a legitimate orgy. Wearing glowsticks.
I'm the only person I know that carries solo cups, shot glasses, ping pong balls, two decks of cards, and a lawn chair in his trunk. I'm ready to turn anything, anywhere into a party.
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