no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
Can you please tell me why there's a bottle of urine on my night stand with a note that says "in case you're thirsty in the morning"? Thanks.
And the horses in Central Park have blankets. And Rafiki just told me "it is time" in the back of our cab.
there is nothing worst than getting kicked in the face by a stripper
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
That girl definitely just ate a hot dog and stared straight in to my eyes.
I should be done at 8 and I've also done a great Job of convincing my self that I should get really drunk tonight
I spent most of the stoned conversation with my dad proving to him that the Newfoundland is an actual dog and NOT a Snuffaluffagus-esque figment of my stoned imagination, while laughing over the fact there is actually a place caller Dildo, Canada. Have YOU taken time to be a good dad today?
I mean, you've seen me eat pizza, sober, out of a garbage can, and yet I refuse to go eat at that place. Just sayin....
I knew it was Christmas when someone handed me a stocking filled with airplane bottles. Ps just woke up 3 days later
Does the term "on fleek" apply to dicks or just eyebrows?
Nothing says "Jesus has forgiven your sins" like finding out you're not pregnant on Easter.
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
just made a presentation to 40 students and my professor about morals and ethical issues..still drunk. at 8am. I wish I could remember how it went.
Rough birthday weekend. Eating McDonalds in the shower and used a fifth of sky as a pillow last night
Randomize
