just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
woke up with the bag of wine duct taped to my shoulder.
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
Cancel that soberness update. I just almost fell down in the security line
is it cool if i crash at ur house this weekend again bro
yea dude but i wld bring a sleeping bag or something just in case. or u may just have to shack up with a woman or 2 cuz we hav 10 girls visiting/staying over at my house.
how did u manage to make sleeping with a bunch of girls sound like an inconvenience?
His balls looked like two miss shaped chicken nuggets
Do I really need this much space in my mouth?
Are you already high?
Apparently I send drunk snapchats a lot and they always have random dudes in them. Like one night it was just me and some guy I don't know sitting on my couch.
Remember that time a drunk Dracula took a shit in the urinal? Ooh, that's right, it was last night.
The hot streak continues..if life was NBA jams i would be "on fire" right now
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
Saw your dad at the bar last night... And again this morning when he left. Told you not to mess with me bitch.
One minute I'm going home the next I'm getting railed on the back 9.
It's routine now. He comes home from work and i ride him like a cowgirl with only a few sips of wine. I love being his neighbor.
Randomize
