I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
guys are not supposed to queef...right?
Im at a strip club, and the dancer just farted into my face. The bad part about that is I could taste the wings I bought her earlier
I'd like to personally thank you for not letting anyone puke in any of the salad bowls this time
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
I just brought the toaster out onto the porch to light a cigarette, don't talk to me about being desperate.
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
Also since my birthday I've on average fucked a new guy every 12.5 days. I'm doing an excel spreadsheet
I would do everything over again, except the fireball.
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
So when he asked me to go on a date tonight, I didn't think the words "have you tried a suppository" would be part of the evening.
Accidentally typed message to mom that included word "kink." FML. Played it off as autocorrect from "drink" which was somehow more acceptable
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
By the way, you totally deserve "i got a job sex".
Randomize
