Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
and before you know it i was laying next to him at 2 in the morning with penis and sadness on my breath.
She just got back from rehab. You dont celebrate that with margaritas.
Stop inviting me to your birth control calender reminders...my job is to test its effectiveness, not know its schedule
Lmao sorry
Yes and yes. Got taken to a Florida strip club. I desperately want to flood my eyes and ears with hand sanitizer right now.
i've been hiding in the laundry chute for like thirty minutes from her. not my manliest moment. but dude this is awesome
I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me
And I also said, "probe me"
God, you're amazing. I just want to hang out with you in the nude and watch Monty Python movies whilst we quip about how comedians just aren't as funny anymore.
Credit for originality. Points off for a mild to moderate creepy factor.
I feel like on the last day of finals we should run around campus dressed like Moses screaming "LET MY PEOPLE GO!!!!"
I'll start the recruiting
Fuck you and your fucking taquito's.
His mom let me come to his house for a Booty call at 4am. She even cooked us breakfast in the morning and told me im a better moaner than his girlfriend of 4yrs.
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
just saw two mice fucking on our bed...i think its time to find a new place to live
She demanded to see my stimulus package, I had to go over.
Randomize
