my brain is sober enough to have a conversation.. but my arms feel nice
If they made snuggies with a sleeve for my morning wood, id consider buying one...
an unopened bag of salt and vinegar chips... probably the best thing I've ever found in my room while high.
i like how i just referred to his pregnant wife as the "other" melissa and you didn't even judge me.
She said she didn't want me watching her give me a bj, so she proceeded to make a "blowjob igloo" out of blankets...
My walk of shame got a new perspective when I walked into his livingroom and found his roommate fucking some chick on the coffee table.
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
I'm trying to make a sex playlist
record yourself crying and put it on a loop.
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
he ate me out like he was chugging a beer.
Great night. I'm in the middle of explaining to her how the stock market works and she just rips my pants off and starts blowing me. Nerdiest blowjob ever.
My car windows are covered in lube. Happy 4th of July!
He doesn't want a full on relationship, he provides me with all the weed I can handle and gives me multiple mind blowing orgasms. He's my soul mate.
He walked in on me banging his sister and said "you're both old enough to make you own decisions. Carry on"
Also I will be receiving my own bra in the mail because I left it at his place, woops
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