Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
Did we have sex?
No you put the condom on then passed out on the bed so I left
Nothing screams don't date me louder then having your baby as your profile pic
You threw a hot dog at his face...I wouldn't call you either.
If we worried less about pouring champagne down stripper crack, we probably wouldn't skip so many meals.
The melted ice in my drinks tonight is probably the most water I've had in like 3 days accumulated.
So last night I kicked a beer can off of a frat guys head and it nailed one of my sisters in the face. Think i'll be brought up on standards?
I want morning sex. We can incorporate maple syrup into it somehow, it'll be fun
Ever since we've gotten back together, it's like the ghosts of booty call's past have been hitting me up. Lol.
He finally left. I didn't introduce him to the roommate. The sex is bad. I don't want him to feel welcome
I'm really excited to meet your new dude! But we really need to find out if he's your cousin first.
Just calm down. My foot long super joint and I will be over shortly.
Remember when we thought adulthood would be different than college?
It is different. We had hopes and dreams back then. Now we're just alcoholics.
I can't talk, I can't walk, I think I'm twitching and I'm not even sure if I'm typing this. Help
He broke both of his legs jumping out of a window to escape a coyote.
Randomize
