am i at home because theres a dig starrrrring at me and i dont know wit plus i haer sirens. run fast.
He went so fast i didnt even have time to pretend like i was about to have a fake orgasim
i really thought "pants-shitting drunk" was an unreachable level until last night
You said you wanted to go to louisiana and get arrested by Steven segal
I am trying to figure out how to tell this kid i have a boyfriend in a way that still allows me to smoke free weed
Also, did that cop draw hearts on everyone's hands last night?
this lesbian fantasy crush is getting WAY out of hand. just spent an entire meeting staring at her long fingers thinking, "oh those could be fun"
I swear my vagina formed calluses just to deal with how big he is
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
I've never had sex that lasts this long though. It's ridiculous. I feel like I need a Gatorade and a sweatband and a sub.
Nothing says "Jesus has forgiven your sins" like finding out you're not pregnant on Easter.
Did you get your nipples pierced? I felt something poking through my shirt earlier and I really didn't want to say anything in front of your grandma...
Booze, boobs, blunts and batman. dude, I'm livin' the life.
Randomize
