Class is significantly more awkward when you know that your teacher knows what you look like with your legs behind your head... Just saying.
How many times can I tell him I wasnt expecting sex before he realizes I'm just too lazy to shave all the time?
Thanks for last night. Sorry if i was obnoxious. I respect your morals and i wouldn't want you to lose your virginity to a drunk girl in your mom's prius.
We decided to cut you off after you insisted on eating peanuts by the dumpster
Puked up what appears to be battery acid next to the treadmill. Everyone noticed.
You were sitting in the middle of the floor spewing vodka at people proclaiming "I a whale". That drunk.
No one ever gets any after sleeping with her. She is like the broken mirror of hookups, enjoy 7 years of blue ball. Don't say I didn't warn you
How was that my fault?! I made you breakfast and gave you cake, as you asked. Then, you initiated sexual activity.
Nothing says love like couples STD testing
Nothing says breakup like the results
you know she was a bad idea when your mom offers to pay for an eHarmony account
Well puke fest 2014 just happened
Having sex with my girlfriend wearing my old Tom Brady jersey on the day he's freed is the closest I'll come to a 3way with Tom
I can say with absolute certainty the only time we ever had a civil conversation was when we agreed we both liked pizza.
Russell is lonely. He needs a companion.
You're lucky you have a monster cock or most people may just laugh at your penis' nickname.
She put her coat on went to leave and called me an asshole. I responded with "I never said I wasn't" and then she pounced on me like a cat on cat nip.
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