To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
my roomate judo was messing around with a girl who recently had a kid, when he was sucking her tits milk came out lmao
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
I just got hit on by my highschool french teacher. I need to stop going to this bar.
dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
He brought me bullshit flowers and a bullshit apology. Even shrek did more than that for Fiona. And he's an ogre. Does this not say anything about him?
Congratulations, you have helped solved the mysterious disapperance of Dani's phone which was found in the munchies cabinet next to the oreos. Your reward is star power as well as a fat ass bowl of Nebula. You may proceed through the wardrobe and into Narnia for your prize.
Walked into my campus store carrying a pitcher of sangria. No fucks given. Also this recipe is banging.
Sorry my hands just texted you
I hope after we constantly bang for 2 days straight we can agree to be friends again
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
i would have fingered myself to death by now but the dog wont stop staring at me
Do you think it would be a margarita if you just out tequila in a sonic slush?
We were getting fries and you hopped the counter and yelled "WELCOME TO GOOD BURGER HOME OF THE GOOD BURGER" and threw up
Note to self: make sure the door is locked before the handcuffs go on.
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