I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
I was actually high enough at that point that I was just casually following your glowing footsteps like in Avatar while we ran from the cops.
I ended up in a shower with 9 people and a bunch of unopened beer last night. I think I got peed on. Hands were everywhere. We sold the peed on beer to people knocking on the hotel room door.
Wow, now I'm sad I didn't go.
I want a burrito.
Truly, you are the voice of a generation.
I woke up in a sink... Not like curled up on top of it though. I was standing, bent over, face first. IN THE DAMN SINK.
I'm hoping they send me home from work drunk.
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
Breaking a step ladder over someone's back turned into a really fun game, way too quickly.
At this point, just throw that mattresses away. Or bronze it and display it as a testament to your shame. either is good.
BTW, you ever shave a dick into my dog, I'll cut you. I'll laugh first, but then I'll cut you
As soon as the clock wound down to zero, she declared "HALF-TIME HEAD" and pulled down my pants. After the swallow, she said "BEER CHASER," got me a new one, and asked if she could make me a sandwich. Pretty sure she's lobbying hard for a ring.
Had dinner with a married woman but didn't have sex with her. Tweeted at Mike Pence to apologize anyway.
My boss and I ended up at the same strip club. We both got lap dances while talking about work.
I woke up thinking it was Friday. I was disappointed (to say the least). I am pretty sure I have gained the quarantine fifteen (but I won’t know until I try to put something other than elastic-waisted shorts on). And I am probably going to need dentures because I am grinding my teeth so much. But hey--this is temporary, right?
Randomize
