ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
just woke up and he was jacking off in the corner.. am i being punked?
My "Week Of Not Checking Into OK Cupid So I Don't Hook Up With Another Fat Chick" lasted four hours. On the plus side, she was the smallest one yet.
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
My boss walked in on me puking in the urinal while taking a piss. Sunday funday is eroding my last shred of credibility at work.
Turns out I sent a dick pic to my sister's ex. Grindr is the devil's eharmony.
I'm not sure I can continue to condone our having sex in all of your friends' beds
Would it be irresponsible to use my tax refund for a boob job?
Yes. Highly encouraged though.
My life has evolved from screwing randos, ok?
this is a save-me-from-tijuana-tequila-and-hoookers booty call. if i don't hear from you by 8pm i'm grabbing my passport
if i'm not back tomorrow call the embassy
How am I supposed to buy weed and pancake mix when it's raining?
I'm not asking for life coaching, I'm just asking if you know where I left my underpants.
I was not drunk enough for that final.
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
Randomize
