he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
Immaculate conception is definitely the most boring way to conceive a child.
THEY HAVE A VOMIT TROUGH.
What?
A TROUGH FOR VOMIT.
I taped Calvin and Kyles heads together face to face while they were passed out. You should have seen them stumbling around using hungover teamwork trying to find scissors.
Through drunken recall, I have managed to bring back awful memories of losing my virginity. And possibly traumatized my niece trying to get her to "learn from my mistakes".
Since you haven't talked to me since the rancid whipped cream fiasco, I'm going to assume we are no longer hooking up. But I need my handcuffs back. ASAP.
I'm naked in the window of the hotel and I feel like I'm walking in slow motion like a robot
I thought you wanted to talk?
What part of "Lets have angry sex" means I want to talk?
Your dick is going to fall off. Be careful or you'll get callouses. A workingman's dick.
I have a sixth sense for large penises and lack of morals
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog
It’s 830 am and the amount of Valentine’s Day snaps I’ve already seen makes me either want to vom, drink a bottle of wine, or buy chocolate
1000% No lie I was just looking on insta and was thinking about taking a bottle of wine to the face..
..and by hang out i don't mean fucking then going back home i mean let's get something to eat & watch a movie and fuck sometime in between.
I'm a history major and he's the descendant of TWO presidents. Did you really think I wasn't going to sleep with him?
Please tell me you haven’t left campus yet!!!! I forgot my Hitachi and will not survive Thanksgiving without a steady supply of orgasms
Randomize
