No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
I can't wait to be a mother. My daughters gonna outdrink every boy in her grade
IF CHARLIE SCHEEN CAN DO IT I CAN DO IT IM A PROFESSONAL
I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives
Dude, I fucked her last night with nothing but my bandana on. Like straight Indian chief style.
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
I'm not leaving bed today. And i guess my drunken ass last night hit my roommate in the face with a tiki torch then proceeded to cry while carrying around a picture of he who must not being name. I'm a piece of work.
TO ALL WHO WERE IN MY HOUSE LAST NIGHT: WHOEVER STOLE MY BONG AND PUT IT ON THE ROOF WILL BE PAYING MY HOSPITAL BILL FROM LAST NIGHT.. AND BUYING ME A NEW, SWEETER BONG.
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
Had a burrito last night in your honor
That's the nicest thing you've ever done
Fuck you, dude, I'm not sharing my weed anymore if you're going for the Panthers.
Did my dad just see you doing a walk of shame?
Yup I waved.
I have hit the ultimate fuck buddy status. We pulled over in a construction zone to have a quickie.
Can I borrow your pants?
WTH?
Just come to the men’s room and help me. The blonde bartender figured out I’m married. Rachel will definitely notice if come home pantsless
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