barbara walters just said penis...
Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
He's prob getting laid right now and I'm sitting alone in my duct tape shoes.
The Swedes wanted a tensome.
I have got to stop letting people hang ornaments from my nipple ring.
Tis the season.
Haha, I gave you the rest of the cash I had on me and you bought 3 shots for yourself and beer for everybody except me FUCKFACE.
I swear man, you fly across the country to give a boy your virginity and he suddenly thinks you like him
I have not brushed my hair. I'm wearing a yoga hoodie. I look like I slept in a gutter somewhere. Today is going to be a good day.
The little girl I'm babysitting is having a tea party, the water and chips she's passing out are doing wonders for my hangover.
I might have been the first person in 2015 to throw up on a yellow cab before climbing in it.
i guess "never drinking again" is not an option when you invent a whole new level of drunk...
The bouncer said the club was at capacity we couldnt get in till ppl left all three of them pulled their tits out we got complimentary bottle service never under estimate women
I didn’t want to see that boob. I told her not to show me but she said “no, I’m going to show you”
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
Randomize
