I am sleeping on the floor in your room so if you have sex in here just don't roll on me
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
I literally have been drunk for three days entirely by myself, the world cup may kill me
you're thinking of things to pack this weekend and you think Don King wig?
Also...you were trying to touch his balls without him noticing
Briing, briiing- tricycle ridden. Where is my crown?
I'm currently sitting on the floor of a hostel reception area taking swigs of straight vodka, singing with people whose English doesn't go far beyond Lion King songs. I thought you might appreciate it.
I looked the guy across the room straight in the eyes and said, "If you were any closer to me, we'd be making out right now."
That's where the buck stops? Buying girlfriends online? THAT is where you draw the line?!
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
So apparently nutella and chocolate body paint aren't actually the same thing.
We got high and watched Winnie the Pooh. Isn't that what every normal person does on their break?
You told your family you're bi over the phone?!
We were talking about exes and it just came out....and so did I.
I love you as a roommate, but you GOTTA start using the door dude..
Yeah I'm just gonna stay here and spread my horniness to the world.
Randomize
