I told him it was like a man's penis, but smaller.
You just kept saying over and over "Tell me I won't do it." Someone finally told you you won't. You did. Welcome to herpes.
Last night at the bar my fuck buddies found out about each other.
Wtf? What happened?
Not quite sure but they rock, paper, scissored to see who was taking me home.
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
I had a dream that I got a gift certificate to a lavish spa from my father. I think dream dad, along with real dad, think I'm gay.
He's like the houdini of condoms. I never even realized he put one on before we fucked. he's magical.
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
I will kill you in such a brutal way if you ever de-pants me again on the dance floor it will make the stock market ticker
You thought you were drunk? I woke up at 6 o'clock this morning with a cheeseburger in my left hand a drink in my right with my window half way down. it was raining.... fml
that's the second time I've made out with him and woken up with my pants stuffed with PBRs I am convinced he's magic
It was one of those "how did I get to my bed and what am I wearing" mornings.
Did you put candle wax on my balls last night?
You just can't go back to being friends with someone after you sucked their balls
tell him if he brings over dinner you might let him see your left boob...or right, whichever you prefer. But under no circumstances do you let him see both...unless he brings a good desert...like coffee ice cream or something
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