Was i wearing a white blazer when you superpoke danced me??
I'm home now. bring me food and boobies
Me hooking up with her is like rush being president. Bad news.
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
Remember when we did the egg drop from the Dyson building? Her vag is like that, except with a ham, and the ham doesn't make it. I'll be back to the apartment in ten.
there are way too many $1s in my wallet for last night to have been 'tame'
i've never seen someone face fit so perfectly in a toilet bowl
We left at the same time. You got home three hours after I did and said you got your head stuck in a fence. I can't believe you don't remember this.
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
Your maid of honor is passed out in a golf cart on the 18th hole.
Omg, you would have loved the guy I almost hit with my car tonight
At least I know that however bad my life gets and how low I can feel I'll never feel shitting in a red robin parking lot low
Sorry my phone died because I decided charging my vibrator was way more important
The condoms have been found. I repeat: THE CONDOMS HAVE BEEN FOUND. he isn't a collector!!!
I'm glad that we laid to rest the suspicion that he was keeping them in a scrapbook. yayy
Naptime over. I've got fresh contacts and tequila. RAAAAAAGE!
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