Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
My low point of the night was when my roommate spit out her jello shot and i took it...
i wish i could swallow nair and shit it out and it would get rid of all my ass hair.
She touched you, you're now contaminated for 48 hours. Please watch out for rashes, hives and STDs as she's known to have all three.
Post-sex chicken soup was such a good idea. It's been like an hour and I'm still applauding myself
it was either a cry for help or you were gargling vodka. we didnt care either way.
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
Every pair of shorts I try on makes me look like some kind of powerful lesbian wizard.
That is like, the point of shorts
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
You ever got drunk on $5? Cuz it's about to happen
Just took a piss in some random bushes in a traffic jam and had to sprint back to the car. I'm a boss.
I ran into the kitchen halfway through hooking up cause I forgot I put the cookies on the oven too high. Came back and she was gone but the only thing I could think about was all the extra cookies I could eat now. Got through about 6 before I realized why she left.
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
I chatted up the pastor's son on Grindr during the service. Still ridiculing my decision to go to church this morning?
Have you ever been up at one in the morning and thought to yourself, "I do not know nearly enough about penguin reproduction"?
Randomize
