he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.
im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
So I've come to the conclusion that I would cry if I had an ugly baby.
Standing in line for a prescreening of Alice in Wonderland - guy just passed out cold in front of us - first drug overdose of the Alice in Wonderland phenomenon witnessed.
He grabbed every salt shaker in the apartment and we haven't seen him since. He really really doesn't want to shovel snow anymore.
it was like, one of those nights where you keep going back to the fridge because you just can't get full. except, with sex.
I woke up at 5:47 in the morning to you peeing on my parents bedroom floor. I think we've established that you have a limit .
Your lack of dedication to alcohol is forcing me to drink with my ex husband. U suck
and I think you ate the old crusty spaghetti on the counter when we came home last night judging by the carnage
Last night at McDonalds, you lied across the counter, pulled up your shirt and yelled "BODY SHOTS"...
If a baby can come out of it, so can four raquetballs.
Found my id. It was in the cats litter box. Seriously what was last night.
Balls deep in an Orange is the New Black marathon. Bring food and drugs.
So last night, I bought mother's day cards and the Plan B pill.
Riddle me this: why did I wake up next to a stuffed sword fish?
Randomize
