Alarm just got pulled in my exam
Swear it wasn't me
I woke up this morning in a strange bed with a kid with an accent playing with my feet.
if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
I woke up this morning with gum gluing my ass cheeks together..
I can't decide if I actually want to know or not..
she said shes getting her period tomorrow so she wants to have sex now. i didnt object. it would have been heartless.
ofcourse you didnt.
No, I stopped taking my meds because I like crazy me better
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
i ordered a pipe on amazon, and under recommended items, it gave me a top hat. it knows me better than my parents.
After her AA meeting, she was on the phone with her mom, and when she said, "they're making me start over with Step 1," I quietly sang, "cut a hole in the box".
Is it counter productive to ride on my exercise bike with a cocktail in hand?
Just so you know, I woke up with 2 oven mits in my bed and no clothes on.
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
This is the best 30th birthday ever. In a Motel 6 drinking a shower beer and sending slow-mo dick helicopter videos to you.
I'm not the kind of girl that sleeps with someone else's boyfriend. But I'm getting waxed just in case I change my mind...
Even in drag you're still better looking than your sister.
Randomize
