my grandmother thought she vaccuumed up a quarter so she made me open the bag, dump it out on her front lawn, and dig through it. no quarter.
Helping high family members not look retarded is what family is for
I just found out me and my parents buy from the same drug dealer.
you should get a family discount.
Life lesson. Learning to pee left handed is easier than learning brickbreaker left handed. Rather lose a few drops than a few lives
They're watching TV in bed. The Golden Girls to be exact. Aaaand I just heard them singing along with the theme song. I love living with gays.
This is probably the only time in my life I'm going to be able to say I'm going to the hospital too smoke weed and play Mario kart.
We stuck the straw in the bourbon as a joke, you saw it as a challenge.
It was awful. Their identical twins so it was like having sex with Jeff wearing a wig and shaved legs.
However today I got my lube that might I add was dripping out of the box. I'd like to think my mailman was mixing business with pleasure.
You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
I feel horrible. I brought her to your house like a late night pizza delivery and dropped her off.
You've got until 8 and then I'm kicking down your door and pouring a beer down your ass via funnel
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
I left you a really long drunk voicemail and I remember something about a bat
She sent a group text pic called "Assemble" of his dick next to her forearm.
I'm down.
Randomize
