Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
we were wasted and he didn't have a condom so he called the front desk and asked for one. They didn't "officially" have them but the night manager happened to have one in his wallet. He brought it to the room with two mints.
Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
It's not mothers day until you're vomitting syrup into grandma's toilet. Cherish the holidays
Im beginning to think that if I ever write an autobiography it will have to be mostly fill in the blank.
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
Until then we have the self affirmation from retweets and nights alone with pizza..
I'd just like to say before I start drinking tonight that not only do I not find you attractive; I don't want to hook up with you, suck your dick, be your "suga mama" or have your babies. Please disregard any texts, phone calls or voicemails that say otherwise..
I feel like I'm eight miles away and my brain is just now getting here. You got a lot of fucking catching up to do.
like, is this a date?? I'm sitting on his couch drinking a juice box while he makes taquitos in sweat pants
At least I got steroids and a baguette out of the deal
I tried to bring you in when you passed out on the porch but all you said was that I "ruined your hope ands dreams of becoming an astronaut"
I woke up this morning fully clothed with a dart in my pocket
On a scale of one to ten how bad is it that the first cardio I've done in months is jogging to the bars?
I'll just go with dedication.
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
Randomize