Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
The Redheads category on Pornhub is my number 2 site behind facebook on google chrome. I think I have a problem
9 beers later and she still looks like Gary Busey.
We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
Walked home this morning with my contacts in a shot glass.
First class.
Hey, my drug test is at 4:15 tomorrow. I'll meet you 5 minutes later.
I think my vagina was keeping me fat all these years out of self preservation. It's like she knew what would happen if I lost the weight.
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
Just woke up with an eye that wont open, a half eaten piece of pizza on my chest and a raging boner.
Well my sober pact lasted almost an hour. Then I did four shots. But in other news, one of those shots I took with a midget. So like I couldn't turn that shit down.
So now I'm lying here in bed taking notes from Teen Mom... I fucked up
We were like one big happy Eskimo family.
Sometimes I look at dogs and just thing about how it's weird we both came from wolves
Lay off the drugs kid
My boobs weigh the same amount as 25 pancakes
You were yelling at them from the passenger seat saying you wanted your chicken for free because they couldn't prove it was from kentucky
Randomize
