this other lifeguard and I are actually considering paying a kid to shit in the pool
Between cock and motorcycle I'm glad I don't have to sit at work tomorrow
i want you to know that after i type the word "your" , vagina is next on my auto correct text
Now go wash the fat girl off your hands.
Nothing says "I forgive you for puking on me during sex" like a Facebook add the next morning...
Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
Dude she broke four ribs, how does a 110 lb girl break four of my ribs during sex?! It hurts so bad but was so worth it
You christened everyone with a powdered doughnut and then tried to absorb vodka with your nipple.
I donkey kicked that mother fucker. Never stood a chance.
It was a door. A completely inanimate object, of course it didn't stand a chance you idiot.
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
Nothing quite like walking through a spider web on your way back in from smoking to fuck up a perfectly good high.
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.
He still texted me and invited me over a day later so I guess I'm the lovable kind of psycho
YOU ATE THE FUCKING GOLDFISH!?
Randomize
