Why did I call the Oregon Department of Transportation at 4:30 in the morning, and who did I talk to for three minutes?
I mean we havent seen each other since december and then bam its cinco de mayo and were having sex under a life guard tower taking tequila shots between each position. no big deal
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
That's your penis' name. I've always referred to it as Alejandro secretly.
im breathing rainbows and everyone is talking in bubbles whatever you gave me give me more
It's a piss down the stairs of the hotel kind of night
She rode an inflatable shark down the stairs. Viva shark week.
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
NATIONAL GIVE A BOSTON COP A BLOW JOB BITCH ROAD TRIP NOW
Thanks for setting a pic of your balls as my desktop background. You'll find you're cc'ed on the mass email of it.
How are you feeling this morning?
Well, I just found day old puke in my bra, so I've been better.
the worst part about living alone is not having other peoples snacks to mooch off of when you havent gone grocery shopping in three weeks. i'm so pms-y i'm about to eat a soy sauce packet
I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I blew a Trump supporter.
Oh no...did you put star fish over your nipples again?
so how about you dont randomly call my mother during parties?
Randomize
