Yo dont text me then not text me
Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
After 2 hrs of driving around looking for him, we just found him sleeping in the bed of my truck with the cover closed, cuddling with the spare tire.
Oh and you pulled your pants down outside in front of like five people, held my hand, then peed.
Things you owe me: a sober apology, $12, the removal of bbq sauce from my doorknob
Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete
In local news, attempts to hide phone from extremely drunk self prove unsuccessful for Dallas woman.
I have to remind myself to breathe. That hungover.
She dresses like Bruce Banner and fucks like the Hulk. She is all of my lesbian fantasies come true.
See if shell let you call her dr banner in bed
I have to go buy generic plan b after work. I don't even leave for the new semester for another 11 days. I think I just leveled up in sluttiness
The problem I'm having with looking for jobs while drunk is reading is really hard
I just want somebody to fondle my boobs while I read fanfiction. Is that too much to ask?
he's really high and upset. he just found out alice from the brady bunch died
So I heard her yell at him and I went downstairs to find he had lit up each one of my smokes and taken just one drag off each and had em lined up on the table. She says he "experiments" when on Ambien.
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
Randomize
