i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
apparently 9 shots of absynthe does not take away your skill to walk. i just woke up under a tree in some field on the other side of town with 4 hours missing.
why do the even put the "Please drink responsibly" on tequila ads? like has anything responsible ever come from tequlia. No. never.
That's so unfortunate for him bc you can always find another penis, but he's stuck with it
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
I met this girl the other day and found out her boyfriend is a helicopter pilot. How the fuck do you compete with that.
Tomorrow, you will get a text, and it will bE spelled right, that's me yo, certify ya soon
My arms are hairy. And so Is my left leg. Just my left leg, the right is smooth.
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
He's hot and has an accent therefore you don't ask questions when he tells you to take your pants off.
I think we can say happy hour is successful when you have frosting and southern comfort in your hair.
It will be too late. I will have fornicated with the enemy by then.
i don't know how to react to you in a diaper crying and calling a football 'sadie'.
I recall trading my iPhone watch for a carton of Marlboros.
One less thong to worry about.
One less *thing! But probably that too.
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