My right nipple has been called many things but never a ghost pig
Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
And we started making out. She asked me to pick a number between 1 and 10. I said 6. She took me to her room. A few minutes later I wasnt a virgin. DUDE I WAS GOING TO SAY 2.
the spit in my mouth is still 99% not mine.
Found a beard hair in my crotch.... care to explain?
After you verbally abused the McDonalds employee for not making your fries fast enough, the fact that you woke up on a random lawn does not surprise me.
And apparently I was the one that started the drunken make out session that broke the window
My concierge just asked me to his place for dinner while I was signing for a delivery. The delivery was a box of vibrators. Let's discuss.
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
Son of a bitch took my liquid eyeliner
Idk what y'all are doing but I just want you to know I'm home and if I hear him say "slap it" one more time I'm moving out
So I wore my ankle step-counter exercise thingy while I rode him. Don't fuck him- I only burned .2 pounds.
No, I'm not a heathen. You two are the heathens, I'm the whore.
I aimed for bossy but it came out slutty
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