Just got yelled at by a priest...again.
i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
dude, boobs are like the porridge in goldylocks
This could help me cancel out guys. First 4 that text me get to stay in the loop. And the last one gets the boot. We'll do this til there's only one man standing
Apparently she saw two women get in a slapping match over a comforter at target yesterday. She said it was awesome. Clearly I take after her.
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
AMERICA LOVES YOU. RIDE THAT DICK LIKE PAUL REVERE RODE HIS HORSE SO MANY YEARS AGO
If I don't quit picking up guys when I'm drunk, I'm going to need a vagina transplant.
I'm just glad I met someone who probably won't punch you in the face
I'm trying to behave my vagina this week so I can at least pretend I'm honoring the sanctity of marriage
Someone drank my pedialite!
YOU drank your pedialite. I watched you chase shots with it!
Sorry you ended up in detox. It's not my fault you decided to walk downtown in only your underwater at 3am. I think the tequila took over.
Randomize
