Rosebud was a fucking sled. Gay.
Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
He passed out so we kept throwing water on him, he got excited and asked if we were at the wave pool.
I added "don't hook up with boys with girlfriends" to my new years resolution and realized how sad it was that it made me actually feel like a better person
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
its official. the only way for my hair to look good is to blow somebody
theres 2 cans of open Campbell's soup on the counter and a note that says "guess which one is puke" ... want lunch?
He's so drunk he thinks he's the ultimate warrior. Told cops he was from parts unknown. Never broke character
all I've ever wanted was a guy with twelve cats who will tie me up in bed
If you got me high enough to laugh at a ceiling fan until I shat my pants you should at least have the decency to buy me another pair
It's one PM on a Saturday and I'm sitting here drinking Jack, eating a block of cheese and playing Minecraft. Please tell me you can come drag me to a bar.
Do not try to steal a picnic table from a park, all you will end up with are sore arms and broken dreams.
Friday is the holy day of drinking. Thou shalt observe the Sabbath. It's in the bible. Look it up bitch.
idk what to be more embarrassed/confused about, that i lost my underwear or that i woke up covered in fried rice
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