I'm on that like soy sauce on rice
i just pooped in tubberware. not a proud day
Just seen on a tshirt : "fake titties taste funny"
The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
I make my boyfriend pay for half of my birth control. We call it his monthly rent.
You need Jesus. Or a midol and a snickers. Whichever.
My summer fucks are coming back to haunt me with a vengeance.
My vibrator challenges you to a duel.
i feel like the 7 eleven by your house knows our deepest, darkest secrets
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
Got it in all night, now at a bar at 730 am and we are the only two people here. Somewhere my mid twenties father is applauding me.
Apparently I'm a "fire hazard"
This is not a drill. I need a cape. And a tuxedo. Simultaneously. Repeat. NOT. A. DRILL....
Randomize
