Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
So not only just find my adoption papers that I didnt know about in my parents house, but they say "child shows some signs of mental retardation".
Note to self: Don't teach the naked lap rule in beer pong until after youve made a cup..
Nothing like throwing up 1/2 price appatizers and 2 4 1 personal pitcher in uniform to remind myself what a succesful failure I am
I'm pretty sure you thought I could absorb alcohol through my dress
i sound like a 75 year old homeless man that has spent all his panhandling money on cigarettes since he was 12. that rough.
I just had my first non-cocaine-induced nosebleed for the first time in 2 years. This calls for a celebration.
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
Do you count doing $200 of coke off his dick until 6am as a successful rekindling of our relationship or...
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
When we pulled over so you could pee, you made us stand over you and "make a roof"
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
I think we've gotten passed awkward... the day I woke up at the palms and ur getting eaten out by the dude who just fucked me on the balcony.
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
My booty call is in the theater watching Deadpool right now. Never though comics would work against me.
Randomize
