she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
Fuck U Mike is a golden god.
Mike give steph back her phone.
Just cropdusted the office
A friday without alcohol is hardly a friday at all
He said "what's the haps". I don't know what the haps are but there goes his chances
I drunkenly sent a picture of my scrotum to the entire baseball team last night
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
I FUCKING SERVED PEOPLE AND POURDED JUGS AND GOT FREE BEEEEEEEERERTERRY
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
Your texting shows a blood alcohol level of .12
I just set a bowl of cap n crunch on fire. That high.
You had one beer and one beer can full of vodka and you took a huge gulp of one of them and called it Emily Roulette
He was so aggressive it felt like he was giving my boob a root cannal
You grabbed my shirt and said, "hope you're not attached" and ripped it off before I could answer you.
Well now I’m in the bathroom puking up absinthe so guess I beat myself up over it one way or the other
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