I just had sex in the back of an ambulance. Call me.
he needs to stop telling all his friends what my queefs sound like. its getting awkward to be around people who can quote my vagina.
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
I just realized last night I drunk-bought a flight to Florida for this weekend...kinda torn between the price and the potential of awesomeness
Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
Btw, whenever you feel discouraged about your life, think about me being frantically upset bc my mobile porn site limited me to only 5 videos a day
just cuz theres a goalie doesnt mean i cant commandeer the goal and become a way better goalie
ALWAYS CAPS LOCK. IS THERE EVER A SITUATION THAT DOES NOT CALL FOR CAPS LOCK? NO.
Sexting? Sexting in caps lock seems rather unnerving.
I WANT YOUR BODY AND I WANT IT NOW.
I rest my case.
They are stoned and trying to learn sign language together. It's like watching a chimp waving at itself in a mirror.
I went eBay shopping last night. Turns out I brought a Viking drinking horn. I can't even be mad.
Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
Hey my dad gave me life the least I can do is take him chicken strips and a pack of marlboros.
Oh my god I found my bf's erotica
OH MY GOD HE WROTE THIS EROTICA.
OH MY GOD THIS IS GOOD EROTICA.
If you don't believe in my fighting skills, I don't know if we can be together
Yeah. We had phone sex then cried together, it was beautiful and heartbreaking
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