god I wish I could record you sometimes, you're so neurotic
tell her no need for introductions. and that you've read about her on the back of toilet doors.
There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
masturbating is 5million times harder to finish knowing grandma is in the guestroom downstairs. just so you know.
We've been fucking since Friday.... This is the most committed non-committed relationship I've ever been in
I'm way too horny to be at work right now. I think it might be legally irresponsible to leave me alone with cucumbers.
We asked "Is that Andy puking in the bushes, its 7 AM" he looks up and goes "It's okay guys, its 7:30"
This might sound awkward, but can I borrow a dildo for class?
It's been two days. My balls feel like watermelons.
We made a bong out of a plastic football. I can honestly say we make a good team.
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
The Easter dress struggle is real
Yep. Just had to pull mine off to puke.
Don't trim your pubes if you've been drinking. I can't believe I have to tell you more than once.
Just found out my dad smokes weed too. Mom, grandma, all aunts and uncles, and now my dad too. It's like I'm genetically engineered to be a stoner.
Randomize