Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
Dude she has a fucking rock collection. Never will I ever talk to her again.
just bought a coffee grinder that advertiesed spacious grinding chamber...new nickname for my bedroom?
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
The bathroom is trashed. Someone took down all the rings of the shower curtain and Scott threw up on the curtain liner. All the soap and shampoo is in the guest bedroom and the lightbulbs are in a drawer. And there are vom footprints.
we were walking and you spelled the word "oats" to prove you weren't drunk.
if I die on the way please explain to my mother that I do not wear fishnets on a regular basis
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
I've slipped into the part of my life where I am not having sex to get Phils tickets from this chick. I need to seriously rethink my life decisions
Maybe there is a secret pocket full of cocaine in that spiderman wallet.
Did you seduce any young men into coming home to your love nest of poutine and jäger bombs?
I walked in, the bartender looked at me, grabbed 3 shot glasses and a pounder. Lined them up on the bar then made a line with salt on the other side of them and said I wasn't allowed to cross it.
Is there like a dick file on me? Guys can't hold two dicks anymore?! Who are you people????
Whenever I have a bad day I just look at the negetive pregnancy test I keep in my purse and remind myself things could be alot worse.
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