Trying to find something to do here is like trying to find a vegan resturant in alabama.
Any questions about why there was a scuba tank chilling in the hot tub this morning?
Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
I got cut off for calling the flower girl a slut. What are you doing?
Apparently I kept telling people I was a pro tennis player again...
Vodka @ 9pm. Library. Nothing can go wrong, I promise.
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
I totally just found ecstasy floating around in the bottom of my purse, it's almost like good karma from the time I lost that blow...but not quite
screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.
Hows that studying goin for you?
I'm in my bathtub in a robe and jeans smoking a bowl and my hair is covered in olive oil
It's 4/20 of course I'm going to smoke in the portapotty and be ripped outta my mind at the lung cancer walk.
dude, she has my telletubby sweats and my good sweatshirt hostage, I can't risk their safety with a breakup
I've never been so excited to be bleeding from my vagina.
I've been getting a lot of emails from patron lately for being a great customer. Is that awesome, or should I start thinking about seeking help?
My Dachshund waddled into the room carrying a rolled-up pad in her mouth with period blood. This day is clearly off to a good start.
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