There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
I see you felt the need to carve your name in my kitchen table. thanks
We started a mustache riot at white castle at 4 in the morning. Will explain in detail.
Just woke up and my doorbell is on my nightstand... the fuck?
Do you think the neighbors will know I was the one giving out the penis shaped lollipops to the children?
begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown
He paid the bartender with money from the tip jar then proceeded to hit on me in front of my date. I love frat dances
Just saw a guy with two baby turtles sneaking into the building
Cory and I accidentally had a sexual adventure last night.
How do you ACCIDENTALLY have a sexual adventure?
I think the blind guy i flirt with on a regular basis is starting to realize he's old enough to be my father. I can't tell if he's into it or not.
I just thought you should know.... I am fully committed to being a ho this summer
Dude I was tripping acid when she was crying and I literally couldn't defend myself
If I ever write a memoir I'm thinking "Choosing to sit in a vat of shit" would fit
How was jagerbomb pong?
It was like communism. Great in theory. Terrible when put into practice
First dip in a brand new jar of Nutella, and my man’s dick are two things I will not fucking share.
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