I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
i'm at the st pattys day thing. the bar is packed. they just put on celine dion its all coming back to me now. i'm screaming the words.
it's 1 pm.
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
Look dude I'm sorry I used your bong to snorkel in my bathtub last night
It was honestly like he was directing a porno or something. he kept telling different people to grab other people's boobs, it was all very artistic.
I asked her to make me water, which in turn meant get me a glass. She handed me a cup of microwaved ice cubes.
I dont care how high you are "yes" is not the correct response to "what do you want from Taco Bell" Mom.
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
Welp just pooped in a garbage can. Guess I'm not better than you at life in any aspect.
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
I just woke up naked in a bed with your brother. WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED TO NOT LETTING EACH OTHER DO STUPID THINGS?
You fucked my brother?!
Wait, you met him on Onlyfans? The guy from last night? Which one of you is the fan?
Because one of you banged your stalker
Randomize
