Haha so I huess that means he's a little over 7. I can use my throat as a ruler!!
One less school supply you need to buy!!
Sorry I missed your call. Have a great morning.
That is a horrible way of saying good morning to someone. You basically reminded me that we did not hook up yesterday. It's bad enough I got to go to work all day with blue balls.
I thought he was walking around the front. I just hit and run my booty call. I'm the worst non girlfriend ever
Everything was going great until my fake mustache fell off when we started making out.
I literally used, "MY VAGINA IS TOO FANTASTIC FOR HIM TO STAY GAY" as a valid argument for attempting to fuck my gay friend.
The reign of the rally queen is over. Welcome to the age of the walking dead.
IT'S A FUCKING GIANT POKEBALL MAD OUT OF TINY ROSES
I was so stoned last night I got into an argument with your voicemail message.
Want to go swimsuit shopping? First one who cries buys ice cream.
She ordered an O'douls. That was the end of that date
If my plane goes down do me a favor. Break into my house and get the batman costume and swing out of my bedroom.
He totally fucked me in his Chewbacca socks
He just fucked me into paralysis. can't feel my hands or face.
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
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