dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
I finally had sex with him last night, but we used a condom so it doesn't add to my number of sexual partners.
Preparing for thanksgiving at home now by chugging bourbon. Less than a month to train!
No, that was the night I was sneezing out barf
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
Her brother is definitely not gay. I hooked up with him when she was sleeping.
BTW waking up to a picture of you taking a shot of what I can only assume was shitty lukewarm liquor out of a blow up dolls butt made my day
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
Sorry, they don't make maternity Power Ranger suits...
I want a battle ostrich, get me a battle ostrich and then come and make love to me
I knew my bag made it because I could smell the fireball that spilled inside of my suitcase before it was on the luggage carousel.
JUST BECAUSE I LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED DOESNT MEAN IM GOING TO LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED AT WORK
I forgot her safe word. It was a rough night.
I'm at the back whiskey bar with a 7 and 7 in a winnie the pooh costume. Come find me.
You know what...ii have the turtles...were together....i love these god damn turtles...
Randomize