i told my grandma i broke up with my boyfriend. her reply " you need to play the field more anyway"
Definitely locked eyes with the stripper who gave me a lapdance last night as she walked by me and into the Ann Taylor Loft in Times Square.
Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
I feel like if you stuck me in a room with all my old toys it'd be the best high ever.
I'm too tired to go all the way tonight, especially if you're going to quote Katy Perry at me during
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
My ultimate goal is to get laid wearing a horse mask... That would be awesome on all possible levels
Why are we so great
Like I'm def going to a therapist but I wouldn't change a thing about us except maybe the peeing
Let's FaceTime each other while we shotgun beers
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
Please just help me figure out where the bruise on my face came from.
You ran the halls of the dorm naked handing out condoms. You were the sex fairy. Best you can do if you're not getting laid.
There's wax on my nightstand, my sheets look like Christmas, and my vagina feels like it got into a fight. All signs of a good night
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