I think we should go ahead and pin a note to my shirt when we go out that says"do NOT buy me shots"
On the back we can put possible side effects may include: indiscriminate making out, brief crying spells, yelling in jibberish, and sudden sleep.
I just walked by a homeless man reading the money section of USA Today...
everytime someone would look at you, you started to try and deep throat your beer bottle.
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
Chalk up having sex in a car wash.
I would have thought, as two of my best friends, you girls could have cought me as I fell out of the shower. There are so many bruises.
Whatever you gave me is making me lactate
So the stripper who poured a beer on my head also gives great head. Even she doesn't know why she went home with me. No more mystery shot challenges.
Lol. Awesome. Seriously though, I need you focused next year. We're gone have a lot of drinking and stupid nonsense to do, and I don't want dumb shit like responsibility to get in my fucking way.
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
he calls himself the gay cupid because he matches two guys looking to hookup on craigstlist with each other. get me out of here. please.
He just walked from his house to mine. Walked in and asked for a hug and then left.. And he's sober.
Before I go in, is 'I just got a root canal 2 hours ago' a good excuse to show up drunk to yoga class with a 6 pack? Because if not I think I need to go home.
So we were fooling around last night and suddenly Like A Virgin popped up on his itunes
OMG haha What did he say?
He told me that if I laughed, I would have to leave.
Randomize
