btw, your gf is going to want to talk to you today...and consequently you're probably not going to want to talk to me...just a heads up
he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
she said if she won the lottery she'd fuck me... isn't that like government funded prostitution?
she went apple picking. why dont we do cute things like that? let's go to a pumpkin patch!
because we're not cute. we're sluts. and sluts don't go apple picking.
beyond obliterated. i recall legitimately trying to use a ballpoint pen as eyeliner.
this may be my drink champagne alone in a bbaby pool in the dark night
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
I really just want to stuff him in my purse, take him home, feed him pudding or applesauce and brush his hair. That's not creepy, right?
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
I walked around with red solo cups on my feet, weeds tied around my neck and a tree in my hand
This girl looks like an elf and is obviously on coke. I want to be her.
I JUST LIKE FLANNEL, NOT VAGINAS! OK?
So I have to masturbate in a hospital. I wonder what kind of porn they have.
I told her I was going to masterbate myself into a coma... We have another date on Thursday.
Look, I tried but his dick tasted like disappointment.
Randomize
