Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
I totally thought the tree was playing the guitar
This is drunk me apologizing to sober me in advance.. I am sprry about you're trashed house. Mom an dad will be home by 5 so get up and clean. P.s. Mike is in the closet passed out.
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
Jesus christ how hard is BRING SNACKS AND DRUGS to interpret? I trust your judgement on this one.
Clusterfucked is a frowned upon word in work related emails
I'm not drunk enough to eat silly string
I knew it would be a shit show so I just went ahead and took plan b before I even got there. How's that for responsible?
I just sneezed weed. Kinda wanna try to smoke it.
sooo trippy being back in town after 5 years. if you had asked me in high school who would be future coke heads, i would have been way off
When I walked out of the bathroom and you were literally dancing, you looked at me and said 'this is how I dance'. And then continued.
He asked the waiter, at 6:40 am, drunk, if they served alcohol. After he said no, he's like 'well, I guess we can eat then.'
Thanks for not letting me get involved with a serial killer. That's true friendship
I don't know who's idea it was to get wine for a frat party but my poor pitiful hung over self really fucking hates them.
Randomize
