Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
Is my tampon string too long for this dress?
her boobs were like sundried tomatoes..
Thats my favorite, when ex girlfriends become XL ex girlfriends
Just found out my mom tried to sue the birth control company when she got pregnant with me...love you too mom.
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
there are 10 yearolds here who keep calling me on the elbow rule!
Wait are they playing beer pong to?
You asked my mom "who the fuck drives four hours to sleep in a guys bed and not touch his penis"
last day of my family cruise we all got trashed and had an award ceremony. I got the award for hooking up with a cougar. my grandma hugged me and said im living up to the legacy. this is why my familys better than yours
I wish someone would just come knock on my door and fuck me already so that me and my stuffed animals aren't the only ones who see my amazing spring break tan. I'm not getting skin cancer so I can just sit here abstinent.
AND I JUST GOT FUCKING DAUGHTER ZONED. NO. I'M DONE. I HATE BOYS. ASEXUALITY HERE I COME.
Netflix, eggnog, and bed? Maybe some hand stuff?
A girl just invited me over for a blowjob and beer. Is this a trap?
Everyone is all excited about the iPhone 7 being water resistant and I'm only concerned with whether or not it can be destroyed by salsa or cum
In the words of Disney’s Jafar, “desperate times call for desperate measures.”
Randomize
