My girlfriend figured out who you are.
So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
Would you have sex with a guy wearing a Batman mask?
It's all hypothetical, I don't have a Batman mask... yet...
he said verbatim, he wants to "bang you hard".
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
Dude, did you fall in a toilet on the way over here?
Was face down in one actually. Bars 2, Drew 0.
Next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
Growing a beard is gonna make smoking a pipe look so much more majestic
We were kinda loud so his roommate woke up and to make up for it he invited him to a threesome. I can't drink whiskey anymore.
I am still awake. And let me sing you the song of my people. Ahem. "I have a bottle of hydrocodone and you all can fuck off."
Burnt my boob on a piece of hot waffle at work today..I feel like thats a new low point in my career..
Are you jealous of my sweatsuit? It's how I get men on Tinder.
Remember when I puked into a mesh garbage can in the middle of a meeting and told the clients it was "morning sickness"?
hahah yep
Well the are flying back here, it's been like 10 months, should I frame fake baby pics in my office?? Or too much?
I skipped the handshake and went right for a dickshake I had him minutes after I saw him.
Stand and applaud for me. I have successfully masturbated in a Walmart changing room with the door wide open during normal business hours. I lead a very Charmed Life.
Randomize
