when you find your car can you pick me up? his mom is here and im hungover
my little sister told my dad she found willy wonka's golden ticket in the backseat of my car. now my dad knows my boyfriend uses magnums.
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
If you fuck her, Im going to call you and I want you to cough 2 times.
Results of pregaming honors college basketball social: 18 points, 3 blocks, and 3 flagrant fouls leading to 2 broken bones on former valedictorians. I'm doing this more often.
If drinking before honors events and injuring our universities brightest doesn't get you kicked out of the program, you're not trying hard enough.
Aside from the slim chance of pregnancy, I'm gonna call last night a raging success.
Two questions. One. Where are you watching election results tomorrow? Two. Can we have Obama victory sex?
Downloaded the Pocket Penguin app. There are now penguins living in my phone. Technology is wonderful.
We were in the middle of a serious discussion about social justice and he pulled sequins out of his teeth and kept talking like nothing had happened.
Anyway, it's clearly a shapeshifting vagina/AT-AT, which I never said I was SEXUALLY attracted to. Just that I liked it.
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
We'll get you some ice cream, but no sprinkles. Sprinkles are for winners.
You can't die you're my only democrat family member
I'm sharing a breakfast burrito w my uber driver
Someone just needs to roll me into a blanket burrito and feed me drugs
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