I think im pregnant
I think you have the wrong number
he just had his sister send me a message about how he's not a creeper
Was his mother too busy breastfeeding him to do it?
You act like this is the first time i've fingered two 17 year olds at the same time
she pinky promised me she was 18
He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
I didn't ride the struggle bus so much as drive it backwards off a cliff.
Only thing worse than going to work with a hangover is going to work with a hangover then realizing that u don't have to work that day
My biggest accomplishment thus far this summer is having sex 5 weeks after hip surgery.
there is a video of me on Facebook getting mad at a trash bin what the fuck was in your Pepsi
TIL a potato cannon can be loaded with dildos as ammunition. Boy, do our neighbours love us!
it is shots o' clock and I am never late
Well... I got her number now... I think she is a dish best served drunk
For someone I see at the bar by herself all the time... I should have know she had a tazer.
the only fun thing to do here is drink beer and make mistakes. i feel like im in college again
Was it a bad idea to have spent all of my tax return on coke?
Randomize
