Nice meating you last night
Not a typo
bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
you know it is a bad morning when you forget to brush your teeth and eat old gas x in your car because its minty...
Got drunk. Then they sung "we didnt start the fire" to my other cousin who accidentally burnt down the house when she was younger.
i remember introducing him to all my posters and making him be extra nice to frank sinatra and bob dylan before he fucked me
The one from last night got me a whole floor of Eskimo Brothers. There was a celebration of high fiving as I left
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
im never drinking wine from a person in a wet suit and goggles ever again.
there was 12 of us, girls included, shirtless and wielding swords as we bet on rock paper scissors in the middle of the bar. It was like Cinco de Mayo version of the Deer Hunter
I wasn't going to take him home until I heard "hung like a water buffalo" then curiosity got the best of me.
Just FYI, I'm breaking up with my boyfriend tonight and you need to be on call to be my first rebound bang
You should've come to the party. It was like an identity parade of everyone you screwed last year.
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
Well you could have stayed home, played house and got blow jobs all weekend babe, but we all have to live with our decision
It will pretty much be equal to the feeling I had when you let me hold your dick while you were peeing, or when I graduated high school!
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