I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
sometime during the course of last night, i decided to get donuts for this morning. i'm a fucking genius when i smoke.
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
I'm going to have to call in sick tomorrow. After this weekend, there's no way I can handle hearing the accountants talk about double entry without puking.
Or they can chase TEQUILA shots with it. I don't know why my phone capitalizes TEQUILA.
Woke up next to a half eaten California burrito. It was tucked in.
Just wanna let u know that we are almost on the pity blow job level of our friendship.
I saw you sitting on top of my car trying to row back home... Did you make it?
Just blew my age on the breathalyzer. I also have 8 stitches in my head. So worth a .22 though. All time record.
Just found out I called my mom at six in the morning to ask where the bong was. I win.
sorry for the random call. He stopped mid-sex because he wanted confirmation that I was really a reverend.
You're up at 3AM, right? I have a very important question.
You know the Wendy's on route 6, by Kohls? Do you know if it has a drive through?
Yes it does.
Oh my fucking god!! There is a barefoot white guy with a fucking ninja sword in the middle of the street next to the pride gas station swinging his sword at peoples cars!! He almost got me. 3 people swerved off the road and stopped. I told a cop.
Randomize
