I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
Well, if he didn't want to get caught mid-gay experience by his girlfriend, he shouldn't have pushed so hard to do MDMA with me.
If we go out with the 22/23 year olds we should make t a double date. I don't want to endure the judging looks of the public as I rob the cradle alone.
I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
Best part about a crippling state-wide drought? Actually having a valid excuse for not showering
Can cross "get fingered at a state park" off my bucket list
"Only you can prevent yeast infections."
Your actions as of last night have earned you over thirty new nicknames.
My girlfriend is talking to my ex-boyfriend at the bar right now. I REPEAT, GIRLFRIEND IS TALKING TO EX BOYFRIEND RIGHT NOW. GET ME THE FUCK OUT OF THIS PLAACE
Remember when you tried to talk but you could only count by 2s?
Fine I'll cuddle you but only for the purpose of trying to survive
Vomit your little heart out. You've got a long day tomorrow
I remember being like "I can't hold both of you guy's hair back!" so I put headbands on each of you
TJ is going to paint me in a Patriots Jersey he can paint you in an eagle jersey. Did this last year and got so much dick.
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