please. tell me to stop eating out of the trash.
I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
Just dropped $150 at the liquor store. No power and two feet of snow has taken my alcoholism to another level.
Thanks for stopping me from doing a one man keg stand by myself clad in only a towel. that probably wouldve ended badly.
he was fingering me, then looked down and said "i like your socks"
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
Yes, I am about to pass out on my beanbag with a mason jar of wine. Welcome to the south freshmen.
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
What can I say? I like my food like I like my women, not entirely fucked by our contemporary world.
I'm pretty sure you and I ate the entire Keebler elf weed workshop
Major win last night. I traded my roommate two cigs for a six pack and a bag of beef jerky. This has been a Brian weekend update
Awkward is sitting in your parking spot and making eye contact with every one of your next door neighbors two hours before you have a threesome.
MY LIFE IS HARD OK. I HAVE TO WAKE UP AT LIKE 10 OR 11 AFTER SMOKIG POT AND PLAYING FALLOUT UNTIL 3
I butt dialed her mom while cheating on her. Needless to say Christmas will be awkward.
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
Randomize
