I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
my new favorite insult= "thundercunt"
i was out of cigarettes so i took the butts out of the ashtray, emptied them out, and proceeded to roll one big Frankenstein cigarette.
No room in fridge, chilling wine in snow. Do NOT let the dog pee on it.
Wasn't a date. In exchange for artichoke dip I received a bj. And sex. It was a transaction.
at least i was responsible enough to take off my shoe and throw up in it
also bought condoms to give away to people who look like they're about to make a bad halloween decision. I'm like a fairy.
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
No one parties "Full Karen". She once broke a couple up at the bar, ate the girl out in the bathroom and took the guy home.
Dude. Photoshop a Santa hat on your mug shot and send it as your Christmas cards.
Probably going to live on vodka sodas and fireball shots
He started planning our future mid-hookup. You tell me how my night was.
Weight watchers just said "you've tracked beer three times recently, want to make it one of your favorites?" I'm begining to understand why I needed to go in the first place.
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
Just saw a car towing a guy on skis drive by so that’s how Syracuse is doing today.
Randomize