I just ate a drumstick out of the garbage. I need a life coach.
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
im so poor im using the bottom of my laptop to heat my food.
He took a banana and in front of everyone showed her how he wanted it done.
the parade is in 5 days. put your big boy pants on and come to beer training. time to build your tolerance. i can't have you passing out in a bush with a cape on again this year.
Then me, her, and her mom snorted tequila. The bartender was in shock.
Regardless of age or alcohol consumption, the knowledge that my dad spanks my mom sexually has the very real potential to fuck my shit up.
Your brother slept on my deck. There was a key under the mat. Relapse party success.
Unless he's under 18, in which case you put him back where you found him this instant.
Awkward, walking to my bootycall's hotel room and run into my dad leaving his. Just nodded to each other and went on our ways
I AM GETTING LAID TONIGHT YES HAPPY DAY PRAISE JESUS ALMIGHTY IN HEAVEN DEAR GOD CHRIST YES DADDY YAAASSS
not sure what stings more, my ass or my pride...
Sorry about the nipples in that snapchat. It was meant for the Australian.
I blame everything on you. My broken heart, my fucked up liver and my twisted mind.
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
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