did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
I guess there's a 50 percent chance that it was her that wet my bed.
Shark Week may as well be Shark Weed.
I just did something awful... i just had to tell someone... i just used my brothers electric face cleaner as a vibrator
i just googled "alcohol delivery service". im combating drunk driving one lazy act a time.
i actually have a tan line from him holding my boob while we were sunbathing
Idk how she did it. Either she watches freakier porn than I do, or I really need to go get tested.
I'm gonna have to flying elbow somebody tonight in memory of Macho Man
remind me not to fuck anymore half bald 20 year olds. because obviously there's attachment issues
Remember my theory about how the universe perfectly unfolds to fuck me? Well, it's at work right now
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
So I definitely fucked a guy while holding on to his pigtails like reigns last night.
The most literal cowgirl position ever.
HE LITERALLY JUST PEED IN MY ROOM IDK WHAT TO DO HELP
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
If it involves notarization or the Misfits, I am up to date. Anything else, I know fuck-all.
Randomize
