Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
She told you broke her computer after the little square in tetris wouldn't rotate for you...
Can't wait to go see my drug dealers baby being born. He rolled all of the "it's a boy" cigars into blunts.
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
Its a good night to get drunk in my onesie.
No. I want him to marry me so we can spend our lives together. I also want a to-scale model of his genitals to mount above my fireplace
Dude he's not responding... I'll take that as an unpleasant visit to the clinic
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
No, they seem attractive after SIX beers, after three they're just the gender you're looking for.
i made sure not to drool on your bed by putting my hoodie on backwards and swaddling my face in the hood
If there was a tv show called "True Life: My 58 Year Old Dad Rolls Better J's Than Me" I'd be on it.
So what did you do since you didn't go out?
...ate chocolate and watched bring it on....it's like I don't even know what it would look like to be straight.
I walked out and he was covered in jelly, slithering around the floor. I don't know how to process that.
That is priceless. You walk into her house, fuck her husband and demand Chinese food. Your an inspiration to us all.
I informed him that we had less than 5 minutes left to live, and his first words were "I'm trying to think of a good They Might Be Giants quip"
Randomize