DUDE. I'm missing my big toenail. My bed has blood all over it. WHAT DID WE DO LAST NIGHT?
I don't know, but I chipped my tooth and I'm wearing different underwear.
There's nothing more uncomfortable than drifting into sexual fantasies on a roadtrip and realizing you have a boner with three other dudes in the car.
can you imagine how much money lesbians save on birth control?!?
bitches.
You tried to tell me you weren't high while you were eating French onion dip out of the jar with a spoon
We saw a kid playing in poison ivy. We walked away, he'll learn his lesson.
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
Those motion detector trash cans don't work fast enough to catch puke.
all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
Are you being sarcastic? I can't tell this time because you're in the hospital.
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
Hey could you buy me 2 bottles of arbor mist? I'm trying to get laid tonight
I mean I kinda plunged vagina first into my last relationship
I’ve developed a strange interest in ear wax removal vids on YouTube. Dear god, I need to get a job
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
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