I'm like a new puppy, everybody wants to touch me
okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
GET THE DICK OUT OF YOUR MOUTH AND CHECK FACEBOOK.
Do any of you want to be on a three way call with me while this girl masturbates in 10 min? You can't talk
I elbow dropped a bag of ice to break it so we could make margaritas. I bled everywhere. Be proud.
I thought my period ended but I felt it again as soon as Pitbull started playing
I am very happy to share that the hospital says the testicle pain is normal and that they are going to take care of it.
My usual answer of have sex with it doesn't work in this situation
I was just shot with a dart gun by one of my coworkers while walking to the printer. Ironically I was printing my resignation letter...
I'm eating your cookies as payment for having to listen to you. Happy sex
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
I have chicken nuggets, lube and brand new batteries, he can stay at work charting all weekend for all I care, I'm set.
My roommate randomally bought me two bags of pretzels. Worst "Sorry you can hear me fucking my boyfriend everynight" gift ever.
We drunkenly made out once four years ago and then he immediately vomited and honestly I've never gotten over him
Randomize
