I need to talk to you about an important matter involving lesbians.
Life lesson: using the oven as a heater= $500 electric bill
stayed up until 6am doing my presentation on buddhist art and the practice of chanting. took shots. did drugs. the powerpoint now includes a sesame street style game (with chicken/puppy clip art), an xzibit music video (and quotes about section eight and eating steaks), and a reference to a german metal band (universe). this is going to be the best presentation ever
I'm done. I'm tired and there's a topless pic of me floating around the nation's largest 3G network.
Me + Nice restaurant + Copious amounts of booze + obscene comments to couples = valentine's day plans
trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
Drunk off five beers on a Tuesday. I'm not sure which part of that statement is more sad
And to think..we used to do everything sober...
No matter what you may say to me. You will still be the guy that managed to get his own cum in his hair.
Kid sitting next to me smells like he slept in a dutch oven full of farts. Going to die.
Glow parties are what I live for
Your priorities in life astound me
Sorry I just took 4 pills about 20 minutes ago so I'm feeling like a claw machine like people tell me were I need to go and what to do and I'm just like yes sir so I get the teddy bear but I set it on fire and it's kinda black on one side and there might be smoke coming off it.
Don't act like you're a victim to marijuana
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
Randomize
