I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
there is a ziplock bag over sangria in a wineglass in the fridge...classy?
It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
i found a beer bottle on top of the urinal, peed in it and put it back... if anyone gets drunk enough to fall for it they deserve it
I've see this movie. You sext me after the bar and fall asleep mid sentence. Roll credits.
There's a Russian guy here. In the bar. Drinking vodka. Wearing a trench coat and a hat and a mustache. Idk where the confusion is.
he tried to give me his business card but gave me his health insurance card then realized it and offered to take me to the strip club
See I would make a great girlfriend. My surprises are sex and burritos. What else do guys want
I AM NOT LOSING TO SOME FICTIONAL CROSSDRESSER
I just spent so much time grooming my landing strip and like, sex isn't even on the agenda tonight.
SUFFER THE WRATH OF THE PISS BAG
He bought me a bottle of Malibu. I think I could love this guy.
I've loved people for a lot less.
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