I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
Feel like bed is flying. Not sure where we're going. Hope there is candy.
Blowing lines off from the book where the wild things are... bad babysitter?
My last google search last night was 'vodka swimming pool'.
relax...and go to your happy place, which probably has a lot of dicks
You kept telling me how warm your bag of vomit was and asked me if i wanted to feel.
I told him I'd go cook him breakfast, but ended up passing out on the kitchen floor in the fetal position spooning the dog
Note to self...boner negates all verbal agreements ...got it
Somehow my drug dealer is stuck in my air-vent and now everything smells like patchouli, weed, deoderant and sweat.
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
I can't feel the bottom half of my face but i feel like our sex would be amazing
You stopped loving me for a minute.
You sent me "Is nap," I don't think that really counts as a conversation starter.
I couldn't figure out what was more important, finishing the shot or putting out the fire on my leg.
I'll be honest, this year's Vegas trip will be nothing short of disappointing if there's no repeat of the angry ménage a trios in a closet.
Banged a guy with 2 broken arms once. Top that
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