I woke up this morning with I hate myself feeling
I woke up and she had breakfast in bed for me
RUN RUN RUN RUN
That drug basically just makes anything that's in your mouth awesome
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
The a/c is broken so they cut a softball size whole in the freezer door. Goodbye deposit.
Looking at an apartment in Houston. It's right beside my favorite bar and the zoo. Best or worst decision?
I just listened to "Eye of the Tiger" and did 5 shots to prep going over to see him.
So on a scale of 1 to Friendship-Over, how mad would you be if a rando I brought home sharted on the shag carpet in the living room?
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
Like, you've got the smoothest dick in the west. Do you moisturize?
Yes I do
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
How do I stop your cat from bathing me? I'm afraid she'll get drunk off my sweat
The air taste purple.
I love you so much and not just because your dick is perfect
Randomize
